It isn’t enough in our modern world to want to ‘do art’. It has to have a purpose. It has to have financial possibilities, to be self supporting. Otherwise what’s the point?
I am one of those creatives who doesn’t live in the real world. If one person knocks back my skills, I doubt I have any ability at all. I don’t like responsibility and I certainly don’t enjoy having to create on demand. It’s an organic process and you need to be free to do that in your own time. Unfortunately that doesn’t pay the bills.
And so instead of creating I’m using my skills churning out alterations to other poorly made clothing and doing the occasional bit of bridal design work. And it’s taken the fun out of it.
Creating on my own time no longer happens and working into the night because I have to, rather than because I’m too excited to stop working, has become standard.
Yes I suppose I should suck it up and get on with it. I am lucky that what I do brings in enough to pay the bills but artsy people don’t work that way. We’re temperamental, stubborn and struggle with the real world. I would like design to become my escapism again rather than the thing that knits my entire existence together.
I want to be rushing home from work because I can’t wait to try out a new idea – like in the good old days.